So far my day isn't going very well.
It started off great. I sprang out of bed at 6:20, opened the blinds to let the sun shine into my bedroom, and off I went to Starbucks to get Gary his venti bold obsession. Ah. My good-wife deed for the day. It felt great to be the morning person I always strive to be.
When I came home, up the stairs I bounced with Gary's prized cup of java in my hand. Look what I did for you this morning honey. And then...
I went to put Gary's morning surprise down on the nightstand and...shit...it slipped right out of my hand and, in a nanosecond, there was $2.10 worth of coffee all over the alarm clock, the telephone, and my copy of Your Best Life Now - 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential by Joel Osteen (yes, it's been on my nightstand since 2007). Oh, yeah, and my bottle of Tums, which is always next to my bed.
The worst part? I moved the nightstand and there they were. A whole family of dead coffee covered dust bunnies. I killed them with the scalding hot beverage. By the way, where the heck did they come from, how do they multiply so quietly, and just how long have we been sharing my bedroom? Hmm...
Anyway, while I'm frantically unplugging everything, Gary tells me to be careful I don't get electrocuted. Yikes. All I could think of is how the headline in the obits would read...
Woman dies after doing good deed for her husband. Electrocuted in pool of Starbucks while saturated dust bunnies shrivel beside her.
Well, that's what I get for trying to be a morning person.
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